In Retrospect

We're married! Oh-me oh-my we made it! What an unbelievable ride this has been. From conception to reception (I made that up!), it's just been amazing, and I thought I'd share a few words reflecting on what made the experience one for the history books.

To truly start at from the top, I must begin with the proposal. I was more nerved up for this act than I was for the ceremony itself, but I'm glad for it. It meant a lot to Ashley (and myself) that I did it in a meaningful way. In the months leading up to the wedding, this event would be reflected on many many times and analyzed for it's creativity, emotion, "me'ness", and most importantly sincerity. To half-ass a proposal would set the stage for a half-assed engagement, wedding, and marriage. So the stage was set for a "whole-assed" experience!

Whatever rules apply to planning a proposal also apply to the wedding planning, but on a much larger timescale. While the proposal requires forethought and effort in exchange for meaning, this can realistically be figured out within weeks or even days. Wedding planning, on the other hand, requires months of attention and many sacrifices. Still, it should be a fun experience that strengthens your relationship with each other and with your families and friends.

I must admit that Ashley clocked far more time than I did on the wedding planning timecard, but nearly every decision - big or small - was made by both of us. We divvied up the to-do lists, did our things, and met back in the middle when it was time to weigh options. The result was a relatively painless (I daresay it was fun!) planning phase and an unforgettable wedding that reeked of our collective personality, and for that we can thank ourselves over and over.

To be a bit more specific, Ashley was basically the art director for the wedding. Virtually every decoration came out of her binder of wedding ideas and was reviewed and refined with me. From paper lanterns, to bird cages, rustic photo frames, flowers, and hundreds of vintage bottles.  While she was collecting and crafting, I was messing around in photoshop. After designing our Save the Dates, Invites, and RSVPs, I had some fun photoshopping our faces into the famous painting "American Gothic" which we used on our candy bar wrappers and as a sign for the seed packet favors. Then there was the task of finding (~140) photos to print as fake polaroids which would be strung up on a clothesline around the corral. With the help of Ashley's dad, we all painted boards with city names and distances as a tip of the hat to how far everyone had travelled. And I can't forget the first dance, which Ash choreographed and taught me in pieces over the span of a couple months. Each of these things brought us together, brought us joy, and gave us a deeper sense of purpose.


[video of our first dance]

Two people can only do so much, however, and when it comes to throwing a wedding and reception for over 100 people, I'm convinced the two people in question would have to quit their jobs for a couple months to make it happen. This is where friends and family can make all the difference. First of all, I should mention that Ash and I were lucky not to have bossy family members who insisted on certain decor or ceremonial proceedings... so crucial! Our parents made many suggestions and contributed an immeasurable amount of help across the board, but their biggest contribution may have been simply to let this be our wedding.

Some (and this is really just scratching the surface) contributions of our parents included the building of a natural wood arbor, painting of many signs, buying, cutting, and gluing candy bar wrappers, planting wheat grass boxes as a stage for free seed packets, preparing huge vegetable, cheese and fruit platters, making gift bags for all the guests at the inn, making a basket of emergency bathroom stuff, hosting the rehearsal dinner, and helping us pay for many other items and services, both small and large. Then of course there was all of the communicating that needed to be done which we were lucky to have help with. By the way, I really feel that our relationships with family and friends were strengthened by asking these favors of them. Not only did we get to spend more time with those who helped us, but they got to really be a part of this super-important event of ours.

We owe thanks to so many friends for their help with the wedding, and rest assured that if you helped you'll be receiving a thank you note. However, there are a few people who I have to mention specifically here because without them the wedding would not have been as special as it was.

Jackie "M.O.H. Extraordinaire" Donnelly made herself super-available to our every need, provided the beautiful bouquets that the bridesmaids held, photographed Ashley and I for the table-name photos, and wowed us all with an incredibly moving (yet very comedic) toast at the reception.

When I told Nick "Every Problem Has A Solution" Mosher that my grandparents would be stuck in a hospital during the wedding, he set his life aside and went and found a way let them be a part of the wedding. Without me even asking, he checked wireless coverage at the Inn and found that we'd probably be able to use his 3G phone as a modem to connect to Skype since the Inn was without broadband. In a day we had tested it successfully on our own computers, and the following morning I was chatting with him via my laptop at the hospital. A massive weight of guilt and sadness that was sitting on many of our shoulders was lifted.

"Reverend" Jonathan Welch, first of all, said "yes" when Ashley and I sat down with him and asked if he would officiate our wedding. He then did the legwork and paperwork to make our union official, and sealed the deal on the 21st by delivering the perfect ceremony -- ask anyone who was there. Few could have told our story with his timing and candor, and certainly no one with his perspective.

At this point I could go into detail describing the ceremony and reception, the tearjerkers, surprises and bloopers. Scott's and Chris' toasts, by-the-way, will stick with us for a long time - if not for their sincerity and the laughs, then because we probably captured them on video. ;) Anyway... I digress. The point is love, and the giving, accepting, and sharing of it. To all of you who attended, and to everyone who has supported us in our lives together: Thank you. You have filled our cups to the brim, and though we dare not drink another drop for fear of bursting with love, you pour on.