In Retrospect

We're married! Oh-me oh-my we made it! What an unbelievable ride this has been. From conception to reception (I made that up!), it's just been amazing, and I thought I'd share a few words reflecting on what made the experience one for the history books.

To truly start at from the top, I must begin with the proposal. I was more nerved up for this act than I was for the ceremony itself, but I'm glad for it. It meant a lot to Ashley (and myself) that I did it in a meaningful way. In the months leading up to the wedding, this event would be reflected on many many times and analyzed for it's creativity, emotion, "me'ness", and most importantly sincerity. To half-ass a proposal would set the stage for a half-assed engagement, wedding, and marriage. So the stage was set for a "whole-assed" experience!

Whatever rules apply to planning a proposal also apply to the wedding planning, but on a much larger timescale. While the proposal requires forethought and effort in exchange for meaning, this can realistically be figured out within weeks or even days. Wedding planning, on the other hand, requires months of attention and many sacrifices. Still, it should be a fun experience that strengthens your relationship with each other and with your families and friends.

I must admit that Ashley clocked far more time than I did on the wedding planning timecard, but nearly every decision - big or small - was made by both of us. We divvied up the to-do lists, did our things, and met back in the middle when it was time to weigh options. The result was a relatively painless (I daresay it was fun!) planning phase and an unforgettable wedding that reeked of our collective personality, and for that we can thank ourselves over and over.

To be a bit more specific, Ashley was basically the art director for the wedding. Virtually every decoration came out of her binder of wedding ideas and was reviewed and refined with me. From paper lanterns, to bird cages, rustic photo frames, flowers, and hundreds of vintage bottles.  While she was collecting and crafting, I was messing around in photoshop. After designing our Save the Dates, Invites, and RSVPs, I had some fun photoshopping our faces into the famous painting "American Gothic" which we used on our candy bar wrappers and as a sign for the seed packet favors. Then there was the task of finding (~140) photos to print as fake polaroids which would be strung up on a clothesline around the corral. With the help of Ashley's dad, we all painted boards with city names and distances as a tip of the hat to how far everyone had travelled. And I can't forget the first dance, which Ash choreographed and taught me in pieces over the span of a couple months. Each of these things brought us together, brought us joy, and gave us a deeper sense of purpose.


[video of our first dance]

Two people can only do so much, however, and when it comes to throwing a wedding and reception for over 100 people, I'm convinced the two people in question would have to quit their jobs for a couple months to make it happen. This is where friends and family can make all the difference. First of all, I should mention that Ash and I were lucky not to have bossy family members who insisted on certain decor or ceremonial proceedings... so crucial! Our parents made many suggestions and contributed an immeasurable amount of help across the board, but their biggest contribution may have been simply to let this be our wedding.

Some (and this is really just scratching the surface) contributions of our parents included the building of a natural wood arbor, painting of many signs, buying, cutting, and gluing candy bar wrappers, planting wheat grass boxes as a stage for free seed packets, preparing huge vegetable, cheese and fruit platters, making gift bags for all the guests at the inn, making a basket of emergency bathroom stuff, hosting the rehearsal dinner, and helping us pay for many other items and services, both small and large. Then of course there was all of the communicating that needed to be done which we were lucky to have help with. By the way, I really feel that our relationships with family and friends were strengthened by asking these favors of them. Not only did we get to spend more time with those who helped us, but they got to really be a part of this super-important event of ours.

We owe thanks to so many friends for their help with the wedding, and rest assured that if you helped you'll be receiving a thank you note. However, there are a few people who I have to mention specifically here because without them the wedding would not have been as special as it was.

Jackie "M.O.H. Extraordinaire" Donnelly made herself super-available to our every need, provided the beautiful bouquets that the bridesmaids held, photographed Ashley and I for the table-name photos, and wowed us all with an incredibly moving (yet very comedic) toast at the reception.

When I told Nick "Every Problem Has A Solution" Mosher that my grandparents would be stuck in a hospital during the wedding, he set his life aside and went and found a way let them be a part of the wedding. Without me even asking, he checked wireless coverage at the Inn and found that we'd probably be able to use his 3G phone as a modem to connect to Skype since the Inn was without broadband. In a day we had tested it successfully on our own computers, and the following morning I was chatting with him via my laptop at the hospital. A massive weight of guilt and sadness that was sitting on many of our shoulders was lifted.

"Reverend" Jonathan Welch, first of all, said "yes" when Ashley and I sat down with him and asked if he would officiate our wedding. He then did the legwork and paperwork to make our union official, and sealed the deal on the 21st by delivering the perfect ceremony -- ask anyone who was there. Few could have told our story with his timing and candor, and certainly no one with his perspective.

At this point I could go into detail describing the ceremony and reception, the tearjerkers, surprises and bloopers. Scott's and Chris' toasts, by-the-way, will stick with us for a long time - if not for their sincerity and the laughs, then because we probably captured them on video. ;) Anyway... I digress. The point is love, and the giving, accepting, and sharing of it. To all of you who attended, and to everyone who has supported us in our lives together: Thank you. You have filled our cups to the brim, and though we dare not drink another drop for fear of bursting with love, you pour on.

Hand-Made Good'ness by: My Dad!

Thank gawsh for awesome dads!

My dad flew in last Thursday and words cannot describe how fabulous it has been to have him here! My dad and I are two peas in a pod, and I'll be the first to admit that I am a Daddy's Girl. :o)  During my childhood years my dad was my soccer coach and braided my hair, putting beads at the end of each braids so I could look cool and hip like the Fly Gurls from "In Living Color." He taught me to fearlessly ride the waves on a groovy, orange boogie-board. He introduced me to every genre of music and was my trusty date to my elementary school's Father-Daughter Dance. Because of my dad, I enjoy tie-dye, traveling, and shamelessly acting like a complete spaz. In a word, my dad is AWESOME...and if you've met him, I think you'd agree. ;o) Needless to say, my dad is a *B I G* part of my life and so it's only natural that he take on a large role in helping us prepare for our wedding.

 No, that doesn't mean he's footin' the bill. On the contrary, Adam and I are paying for the majority of our Big Day, but all parents are contributing in some way. I would never ask, expect, or allow my father to pay for our entire wedding---not only is it old-fashioned, but I think it's ridiculous to be under the impression that Daddy should pay thousands upon thousands of dollars for every aspect of a wedding. Financial assistance is greatly appreciated, yes, but gee whiz brides-to-be, let's get a little bit more in tune with our inner feminist and take on some of that financial responsibility, eh? I could go to great lengths with this, but I digress...Let's  get back to the real reason for this post, shall we? We shall.

SO! Other than being the best dad in the world and being one of my very best friends and being the one who will walk me down the aisle in four weeks---which, by the way, is something I've imagined and cried about on multiple occasions for a number of years---I am proud to announce that my father is contributing his handy-man skills and making us a variety of awesome, custom-made goodies to go with our rustic and personalized wedding theme!

Tomorrow = Sign-Making Day!
From the get-go I knew I wanted to somehow represent my California roots. Stating the mileage from Chocorua, New Hampshire to my hometown of San Diego popped into my head without any question...but then we thought it would be fun to represent all the other major places our guests are traveling from! We've got friends and family from all over the map---California, Massachusetts, Nebraska, Maine, Kansas, Florida, Costa Rica---so why not pay homage to everyone's homeland? It's always fun to see how far away one place is from another place, right? Right! And it doesn't get any more rustic than old slats of wood (picked up from the side of the road and weathered to perfection), paintin' on 'em with white paint, and nailing them to a post. Stick it in a whiskey barrel and call it macaroni, woo! My dad has worked for years making sets and props for a theater company back in San Diego, so creating something like this is right up his alley and I know he's stoked about it. In addition to the multi-location directional sign post, I'd like to have signs like the ones you see pictured: one to put at the top of the dirt road that leads to The Brass Heart Inn, one that points in the direction of the ceremony, another one that points to the barn, and maybe one to lead guests to the fabulous photo booth that Adam and I will have set up inside the barn (*more info on THAT coming soon!).

Since early this week my dad has been working on constructing an arbor (with the help of Adam's dad, too!), which will be used for our ceremony---something quite similar to a "huppah", except we're not Jewish so I don't feel right calling it by that name. The Brass Heart Inn has one we could use, but it's one of those cheesy white-lattice ones and I just couldn't stand the idea of getting married under something so trite. Having a more natural-looking arbor was what I had in mind, and I knew that my dad would jump on the opportunity to make one. :o) The two dads collected branches from the woods of Salisbury and having been working their magic, creating us a special arbor which we have yet to see! They are anxious to surprise me and Adam with the finished product tomorrow, and I can't wait to see it! I have no doubt it will be awesome and better than I could have imagined, as this is something my father has been obsessing over for at least six months! Not only will it make for a picturesque ceremony site, but Adam and I will be able to move the custom arbor to our backyard and use it as an entryway to our future garden. Aww!

It means *so* much to know that my dad is excited for me and to know that he wants to help in any way, shape or form. Having my dad contribute his creative talents and personal touches to help us achieve our desired wedding aesthetic is truly priceless. Words cannot describe just how sentimental a person I am, especially when it concerns my dad, so I am thrilled about having his creations be a part of not just our wedding day, but the rest of our lives. Maybe we're not the first couple to have a family member construct something for the ceremony, or go with a rustic barn theme, but it still feels pretty great to know that NO ONE else in the world has ever had personalized wedding'y facets created by *my* dad. It's truly the little things that will make our wedding unique and extra-special, and I couldn't be happier. :o)


*Major props and thanks to my dad, as well as Adam's dad, for their dedication, enthusiasm, craftsmanship, and love!*

Glowing Globes

My, what affordable and lovely decor you have!

Came across the most outstanding web site for ordering paper lanterns of any size, color and design you could ever want in life!

Go here:
http://www.paperlanternstore.com

Adam and I both just *love* the look of glowing Chinese paper lanterns, and the calming ambiance they bring to any venue. We're most excited about bringing these relatively modern orbs of light to the rustic barn in which our reception will be held. What a lovely lighting accessory they shall make, hanging from the beams and wagon wheels that are suspended from the ceiling, and working in tandem with the white twinkly lights that shall be wrapped around the railings of the mezzanine!! We are certain that our amazing photographer, Shyla Dalirifar (www.shylaphotography.com) will capture the sense of romance and fun throughout the reception, and we couldn't be more thrilled! And I personally can't wait to cut a rug all night long under these little paper moons..... <3

Shake yo' groove thang!

"May I have this dance?"
"Sure! But only if you're willing to pop and lock and shake what yo' mama gave ya..."

Joy of joys! Adam and I are on Day 3 of choreographing /  practicing our super-fly First Dance and already it's ridiculously fun and full of awesome (if 'awesome' was a noun).

I. am. so. PSYCHED! 

I cannot tell you how {thrilled} I am to be marrying someone who is so willing (and dare I say excited?) to bust a move. As a long-time performer and dance teacher, having a fun and upbeat First Dance has been at the top of my priority list. It would be a crime NOT to do something lively and untraditional, don't you agree??? This is why I feel so fortunate to have found Adam, my "perfect match" Not every guy out there is willing and able to appease his Dancing Queen wife-to-be in this arena. Thankfully, Adam is a guy who is comfortable in public and confident enough in himself to be okay with "acting a fool" every once in a while. Not only that, but he knows that to dance in front of people does not require professional training or being perfect (whatever "perfect" is)---it's all about having F U N. I have little to no shame and am alwayswilling to dance crazy-like in front of people, so it looks as though I was destined to meet Adam Fraser eh?? *hehe* ;o) Knowing that I'll soon be sharing the stage with my significant other is a very exciting thing for me---I just envision us doing our First Dance routine and a big fat smile spreads over my face! Never fails, every time our song comes on (admittedly, I've been listening to it on repeat on my drive to and from work this week--ha!), I feel the rush of happy hormones and get more and more excited over our dance-in-progress. :o) The reality of it all fills me with such glee that I can't help but feel giddy; I can't wait for the moment we are announced as Mr. and Mrs. Fraser and dance together for the first time as a married couple! 

The heat wave we've been experiencing in New England this past week has presented us with the challenge of keeping cool whilst dancing. [ Fun fact: we are cheapskates and don't choose to invest in A.C. ] Boy howdy, I kid you not when I say that our house is hot enough for a killer Bikram yoga sesh--it is just so damn HOT in here!! Luckily, the tile *finally* went down on the finished side of our basement just two weeks ago so it's a good 15 degrees cooler down there; makes for an ideal dance studio!  [EDIT (Adam): "Ideal" with one exception: head is a mere 4 inches from the ceiling which makes some moves kind of - dare I say - dangerous.] It's still hotter than Hades, but it's fun to be spending time together, dancing and sweating up a storm, and putting our creative minds and bodies to work. I'm wicked proud of Adam actually, not only for being open to learning some of my serious dance moves, but also for coming up with a few ideas of his own! Just today, in fact, he suggested something and it filled up an 8-count perfectly! *Good job, Fiend!!!*  I'm having a blast creating choreography that we can both do and have a good time with, and it seems like Adam is really having fun with it all---couldn't ask for anything better!

This whole First Dance topic makes me think about one of many reasons why I love Adam so much:

I love that he isn't afraid to be wild and zany with me; he's game to have fun and isn't scared to be in the spotlight every once in a while. He may not be a trained dancer like myself, but he accepts and respects our differences and is STILL able to have fun, and that scores him some major Brownie points. He compliments my high level of energy with his own unique energy, and together we make quite a team! Planning this wedding with him has truly been a joy because we both share the desire to have nothing short of an AWESOME time together with our family and friends. We want it to be memorable and beautiful, enjoyable and fun, all the while remaining true to ourselves. This, of course, includes lots and lots of dancing at the reception....CAN'T WAIT!!!

*Note: I'm sure you're dying to know what our First Dance song is.....and I'm sorry to break your heart but it's a secret---you're just gonna hafta' wait and find out when the day comes! I *will* tell you, however, that we're doing a fast n' funky dance, as well as the more traditional slow dance. Double-wammy! 

Barns = Romantic

barns = romantic

Ashley:

I can't pinpoint when my fascination / love for barns began....I wish I could! I do, however, remember when the movie "Lassie" came out (1994) and I was semi-jealous that the city-boy moved with his family to "the country" (who knows which ONE...). He had a farm. With chickens. And a barn with a loft. And his faithful companion Lassie, of course. And I remember wanting a piece of that; it was a lifestyle I couldn't very well have growing up in East County San Diego, so it was foreign but oh-so-cool. 

So perhaps it was then, at the tender age of 10, when I first began admiring farms and barns and wondered what it would be like to move to a more rural area... Raising sheep and collecting eggs from the chicken coop seemed like they'd be fun, and taking a long bus ride to school after milking the cow in the early morning was something I couldn't relate to in the slightest (shoot, I didn't ever ride a bus until I went off to Santa Cruz for college!). ;o) 

While I never did get the opporunity to grow up and work on a family farm (I don't think I would have survived to be completely honest), I did participate in activities that I deem "rustic" and "country":  picking blackberries and fishing for crawdads in my gramma and papa's back yard with my brother; picking strawberries at my mom's aunt's house up in Idaho; fishing at the Santee Lakes or at any river we happened to pass while on a family vacation; camping up in Yosemite every spring...

Reasons why I have fallen in love with barns:
* Gambrel roof: It is just so "barn," and anytime you see a gambrel on a house you can't help but think "barn!" Granted, not all barns have the gambrel roof style, but it's a feature that can't be ignored.
* Wood: I love wood, and I especially love structures made of wood---they just scream "rustic." Wood is a natural material and anything constructed purely of wood has to be admired and considered something of an art. I dig the look of wood siding on a home...probably because it reminds me of a barn...and when the wood weathers, it looks even cooler than it originally did!
* Scenery: Barns aren't typically found (if ever) amongst skyscrapers and super-mod color palettes. Barns are rustic, commonly found amidst fields of gold (ooh I love that song!), green grass, chestnut mountains, and wide blue skies. A barn standing solo in the countryside contributes to the landscape...and makes for the perfect postcard! I love how eye-catching a red barn with white details can be, and yet I also hold a strong appreciation for the poor dilapidated barns that haven't seen a fresh coat of paint since the early 1900's. It's hard for me to explain because I lack the vocab, but whenever I look at pictures of barns or drive by one on the road, my heart feels light; I can't help but smile and I get a feeling of old romance dancing about my insides. :o)
* History: Some barns are so old that it's a miracle they are still standing----so awesome!! Talk about sturdy structure and outstanding craftsmen (I've heard the Amish hold the title for being the best). Going along with old age is a back story, and it is amazing to learn about what certain barns were used for, owned by, or transformed into. 

SO! I guess it goes without saying that I am MORE than pumped about having our wedding reception in a barn. I remember driving up to The Brass Heart Inn in Chocorua, New Hampshire on December 3rd and feeling a wave of joy wash over me. Then I stepped foot on the property and didn't know what to do first---run around in the open field screaming, "WE FOUND IT! THIS IS THE PLACE!" Or explore the inside of the barn?! Or just stand there and cry tears of sheer joy (which I nearly did after we'd been there for 2 hours talking and exploring with Sheena, the fabulous event coordinator). 

The inn is adorable and very photogenic, and there are 23 acres of gorgeous grounds for romping about and taking in the clean mountain air (while taking spectacular photographs, of course!). But it was walking into the barn that took my breath away.  I was able to envision our wedding reception while in there, and I must admit that the little film I had playing in my head was pretty amazing. It was just everything I was hoping for and it was surreal to have finally found it. 

The thing I appreciate the most about the inside of the barn: there is so little that needs to be done when it comes to decorations because it is already so awesome! Wooden walls and beams are just naturally beautiful, that's all there is to it. There are already little white Christmas lights strewn along the beams, and Sheena invited to bring more if we so desire. Other than that, and maybe white Chinese paper lanterns, there is nothing that needs to be done! How awesome is it that I don't have to work around funk 90's wall paper....or ridiculous Roman columns...or window treatments in a horrendous shade of mauve. There was no way we were gonna have our reception at a country club or hotel ball room---it's just not our bag, baby. By having our special "party of the century" in a restored 19th century barn, we get to bring in our desired amount of color with gerbera daisies and other props, and with our summer'y attire too! And then everything will have a romantic glow thanks to the white twinkly lights. Without the barn, our  "rustic elegance" vibe---a mix of old and modern---wouldn't be nearly as magnificent. I couldn't be more pleased with our location.

Oh yeah---and did I mention that I love barns??  ;o)