In Retrospect

We're married! Oh-me oh-my we made it! What an unbelievable ride this has been. From conception to reception (I made that up!), it's just been amazing, and I thought I'd share a few words reflecting on what made the experience one for the history books.

To truly start at from the top, I must begin with the proposal. I was more nerved up for this act than I was for the ceremony itself, but I'm glad for it. It meant a lot to Ashley (and myself) that I did it in a meaningful way. In the months leading up to the wedding, this event would be reflected on many many times and analyzed for it's creativity, emotion, "me'ness", and most importantly sincerity. To half-ass a proposal would set the stage for a half-assed engagement, wedding, and marriage. So the stage was set for a "whole-assed" experience!

Whatever rules apply to planning a proposal also apply to the wedding planning, but on a much larger timescale. While the proposal requires forethought and effort in exchange for meaning, this can realistically be figured out within weeks or even days. Wedding planning, on the other hand, requires months of attention and many sacrifices. Still, it should be a fun experience that strengthens your relationship with each other and with your families and friends.

I must admit that Ashley clocked far more time than I did on the wedding planning timecard, but nearly every decision - big or small - was made by both of us. We divvied up the to-do lists, did our things, and met back in the middle when it was time to weigh options. The result was a relatively painless (I daresay it was fun!) planning phase and an unforgettable wedding that reeked of our collective personality, and for that we can thank ourselves over and over.

To be a bit more specific, Ashley was basically the art director for the wedding. Virtually every decoration came out of her binder of wedding ideas and was reviewed and refined with me. From paper lanterns, to bird cages, rustic photo frames, flowers, and hundreds of vintage bottles.  While she was collecting and crafting, I was messing around in photoshop. After designing our Save the Dates, Invites, and RSVPs, I had some fun photoshopping our faces into the famous painting "American Gothic" which we used on our candy bar wrappers and as a sign for the seed packet favors. Then there was the task of finding (~140) photos to print as fake polaroids which would be strung up on a clothesline around the corral. With the help of Ashley's dad, we all painted boards with city names and distances as a tip of the hat to how far everyone had travelled. And I can't forget the first dance, which Ash choreographed and taught me in pieces over the span of a couple months. Each of these things brought us together, brought us joy, and gave us a deeper sense of purpose.


[video of our first dance]

Two people can only do so much, however, and when it comes to throwing a wedding and reception for over 100 people, I'm convinced the two people in question would have to quit their jobs for a couple months to make it happen. This is where friends and family can make all the difference. First of all, I should mention that Ash and I were lucky not to have bossy family members who insisted on certain decor or ceremonial proceedings... so crucial! Our parents made many suggestions and contributed an immeasurable amount of help across the board, but their biggest contribution may have been simply to let this be our wedding.

Some (and this is really just scratching the surface) contributions of our parents included the building of a natural wood arbor, painting of many signs, buying, cutting, and gluing candy bar wrappers, planting wheat grass boxes as a stage for free seed packets, preparing huge vegetable, cheese and fruit platters, making gift bags for all the guests at the inn, making a basket of emergency bathroom stuff, hosting the rehearsal dinner, and helping us pay for many other items and services, both small and large. Then of course there was all of the communicating that needed to be done which we were lucky to have help with. By the way, I really feel that our relationships with family and friends were strengthened by asking these favors of them. Not only did we get to spend more time with those who helped us, but they got to really be a part of this super-important event of ours.

We owe thanks to so many friends for their help with the wedding, and rest assured that if you helped you'll be receiving a thank you note. However, there are a few people who I have to mention specifically here because without them the wedding would not have been as special as it was.

Jackie "M.O.H. Extraordinaire" Donnelly made herself super-available to our every need, provided the beautiful bouquets that the bridesmaids held, photographed Ashley and I for the table-name photos, and wowed us all with an incredibly moving (yet very comedic) toast at the reception.

When I told Nick "Every Problem Has A Solution" Mosher that my grandparents would be stuck in a hospital during the wedding, he set his life aside and went and found a way let them be a part of the wedding. Without me even asking, he checked wireless coverage at the Inn and found that we'd probably be able to use his 3G phone as a modem to connect to Skype since the Inn was without broadband. In a day we had tested it successfully on our own computers, and the following morning I was chatting with him via my laptop at the hospital. A massive weight of guilt and sadness that was sitting on many of our shoulders was lifted.

"Reverend" Jonathan Welch, first of all, said "yes" when Ashley and I sat down with him and asked if he would officiate our wedding. He then did the legwork and paperwork to make our union official, and sealed the deal on the 21st by delivering the perfect ceremony -- ask anyone who was there. Few could have told our story with his timing and candor, and certainly no one with his perspective.

At this point I could go into detail describing the ceremony and reception, the tearjerkers, surprises and bloopers. Scott's and Chris' toasts, by-the-way, will stick with us for a long time - if not for their sincerity and the laughs, then because we probably captured them on video. ;) Anyway... I digress. The point is love, and the giving, accepting, and sharing of it. To all of you who attended, and to everyone who has supported us in our lives together: Thank you. You have filled our cups to the brim, and though we dare not drink another drop for fear of bursting with love, you pour on.

Friends, make them a part of your life

It's quarter past two in the morning.  Ashley is sound asleep, and I'm sitting on our couch in our back room listening to the buttons on my clothes gently make clicking sounds in the dryer upstairs.  In a matter of 20 minutes, that dreaded buzzing sound will tell me it's time to toss in load number three.  Ashley won't stir, though, when her lights go out she couldn't hear a Mack truck driving through a nitro-glycerin plant*.  Anyway, I find it interesting that now is suddenly a good time for me jot down an entry.  By all accounts I should be exhausted, yet here I sit, feeling like I might be able to get the juices flowing.

Ash has really put me to shame with her latest spree of blogging, considering my last entry was over a month ago, but I'd like to remedy that.  There are so many things I've been wanting to write about, but I'm not sure how far I'll get since it's so late.

August 21st 2010 — Save that date!
There isn't so much to say on this topic, since I believe we've already mentioned it.  Still, I wanted to post the finished design.  A lot of people asked what printing service I went through, and the answer is postcards.com.  It's been years since I've done print design, so it was fun to draw something up that would ultimately be tangible.  Now Ash and I are using a variation of the save the date as our desktop wallpaper.  For some reason it feels guiltlessly narcissistic.

Team Friends!
Lately, we (Team Fiends!) have been spending a lot more time with our friends - and guess what - it's rejuvenating!  Whether it's after work, or on the weekends, we've just been finding more time to see the people that mean the most to us.  I think this is a real challenge for us college grads and twenty-something's who find themselves frequently exhausted from the 40 hour work-week.  For couples, it's especially difficult because sometimes it feels like the weekend is the only time you really get to spend quality time with each other.  Still, after these past weeks, I must say that it is crucial to find the time to spend with friends... especially mutual friends.

When I spend time with my friends, I notice that they tend to revive a bit of energy that seems to have been lost in the nostalgia of my university days.  Maybe it's not the aging of our bodies and minds that makes us tired, but the distance from rejuvenating sources of energy such as our chums.  I think back to the all-nighter's I pulled in college, and the late-night antics despite homework and looming tests... there's no way we could have done it without each other!

This brings me to mutual friends... there's just something about being around people you love when in the company of your significant other (sigfig).  Now, not only do they feed your own energy and personality, they feed your sigfig's too.  Suddenly you start noticing character traits about each other that you forgot about, and you can't help but remember how lucky you are to be with this amazing person.

So here's a shout out to everyone I've spent time with lately!

I chatted it up at Beerworks with Jon and Ryan, and had such a good time that I completely missed my train and had to wait 2 hours for the next one.

Tim, RaeBeth, and I tried a new restaurant in Salem recently, before returning to their place and getting totally engrossed in Wii Mario Kart.  Tim and I used to dominate the Salisbury video game scene... since then I've apparently lost some of my skills when it comes to handling a virtual go-kart.

Mike and Rhys, joined Ash and I recently for pizza and Beatles Rock Band at our house.  We wore hats... so many hats.

Nikki and Mike, two friends of mine who I've known since high school, recently bought a house right down the street from Ash and I, and we've wined and dined together on a few occasions including a classy shindig at their place on New Year's Eve.

We've met up Kevin and Alyssa on multiple occasions, and have begun to make a habit of documenting our activities (such as bowling) on video... it may sound boring to watch, but Kevin transformed over an hour of footage into a few minutes of trailer-quality material, music and all! 

Jackie (a.k.a. "MOH", and "Rrrrrooomie!"), and I recently had a blast getting lunch together and talking about ridiculous sightings that she blogs about daily, then she joined Ash and I for dinner at Not Your Average Joe's.

In a stroke of luck, we bumped into Laura at work in Newburyport while we were with Jackie, and next thing we knew, Andrew, Jamie, and Julia were all at our house, serving up gelato and epic guitar riffs in Beatles Rock Band!

Speaking of Rock Band (haha, it's still new okay!?), Pete joined us for a session recently before heading out to Colorado for a vacation.  Ash cooked up some spaghetti and garlic bread for the occasion, and I do believe we tapped into a bottle of wine... or two?

Last Saturday, I caught up with Mike and the rest of the gang at the Eggroll Cafe, after Ash and I met with a promising, potential photographer.  Then Mike informed me of skiing plans for Sunday, and next thing I knew, we were sitting in a gondola (haha -- or as Mike referred to it the "ganjala")!

On Tuesday, Tang took Ashley, Mike, Curran, and I out to an incredible sushi dinner at Kayuga in Brighton.  Mmmm -- nothing stimulates my palate like good sushi, and nobody stimulates my intellectual side like these guys.

Lastly, tonight Kevin, Alyssa, Nick, Kate, and Chris all joined Ash and I in Beverly to behold The Roger Brockelbank Jazz Trio (+1).  We opened the night with dinner and drinks before filling up on sexy jazz that flowed until midnight.

...what can I say, I'm still on a high from all the fun.  I guess that's what's carrying me into the wee hours of the morning, typing away.  Alas, this is all I've got in me for now.  More to come soon about our experience in hunting for a wedding photographer, and about our upcoming vacation in California!