The nose ring shall stay!

Ashley (obviously):

I have a nose ring.

I have had said nose ring since 2004. It was one of the many piercings I got during my college days in Santa Cruz, California, and perhaps one that I was most excited about getting for the following reasons:

a. Source of initial inspiration: Joan Osborne. You know, the chick who debuted with the single titled "One Of Us" circa 1995, posing the question, "What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us?" It was brilliant. I loved her voice, dug the melody, and thoroughly enjoyed the sound of the gnarly guitar riff. I  received her cassette tape (yeah, cassette tape...wow, I wonder where it is??) as a gift from my mom and I was thrilled, but it was seeing Joan Osborne's music video on VH1 that helped formulate my opinion of what a cool, laid-back, hippie-chic,California girl looks like...and what I wouldn't mind looking like "when I grew up." At the tender (and impressionable) age of 11, Joan Osborne quickly became my female icon of cool---not only was she a groovy singer-songwriter, but she had a most powerful "look" that I interpreted as a sexy feminist making a statement without being over-the-top. I was awestruck by her curly blonde tendrils and that shiny silver hoop decorating her nostril. She paired these things with a relaxed wardrobe, light make-up, and a perfect smile....but it was always the image of the nose ring that stuck with me. I thought it to be both unique and beautiful, and I knew that I was just "crazy" enough to pierce a hole in my face one day.

b. Nose piercings were welcome and celebrated in Santa Cruz. That should have come as no surprise really, since the place is a liberal breeding grounds for wanna-be, semi, and true-blue-crunchy-granola hippies....as well as non-hippies who just enjoy arts'y ways of expressing themselves. Piercings of all sorts proved to be part of the norm, and having come from a part of San Diego that was so conservative and "white bread," I was pleasantly surprised to find that this fun aesthetic / body decoration was relatively common. Getting a nose piercing as a 20-something college student in Santa Cruz was LESS than unique, I'll admit, but I was amped about it anyway...and even MORE psyched that it was quick and painless!

c. Getting a nose piercing was a "happy middle-ground" type of piercing. It definitely had more "umph!" than a basic ear piercing (which I ended up having a total of 14 of by the time I was a junior in college), but it wasn't as distracting and "cutting edge" as a lip, tongue, or eyebrow piercing. Nevertheless, I knew having a piercing ANYWHERE on my face was risky because "having a piece of tin in my face" would upset my mother...... and it did....for a short while....but I don't regret coming home that Thanksgiving with a nose stud. A simple diamond stud is rather tame, and I think my mom did finally realize that when she stopped to think about all the other things I COULD have been doing up at college, but wasn't. :o)

SO! Here I am, six years later, still with a nose ring and still very happy with it....and, oh yeah, engaged to be married in just four months now. Like every other bride-to-be, I've been flipping through countless bridal magazines, searching for inspirational images; brides who I feel like I can identify with in terms of personal style, wedding aesthetic, and so on; guidance and helpful tips for things that I am NO pro in. But, Ive said it before and I'll say it again: most of the bridal magazines out there on the stands are absolute CRAP. Instead of serving as realistic inspiration, they make you feel a) poor  b) class'less  c) wrong  d) angry  e) all of the above. It has been so frustrating to come across featured weddings and brides that spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on their designer dress, coiffed hair, hoity-toity country club venue, etc. and claim to be "DIY" or "Budget Brides." *HA!* I scoff in their general direction. Even better is when I see how much a bride has spent and I find her whole aesthetic to be completely offensive---hideous dress, bad hair, pompous and pretentious vibes, and unoriginal everything. Not my cup of tea. And yet, while I consider myself to be unique and "above" the trite bride'isms of this century, I can't quite dub myself an "Offbeat Bride." The one obvious facet that does make me "offbeat," however, is my nose piercing.

That's something ya don't see much of--if at all--in the bridal magazines: brides with nose rings. Well, unless they Indian....
[SIDENOTE: I recently learned that it is custom for Indian Hindu women to wear a nose ring, usually in the left nostril, due to the association it has with the female reproductive organs. Interesting, eh? My nose ring happens to be in my left nostril as well......so we better have good luck when it comes to makin' babies!]

Aaaaaaaanywho, back to my being semi-offbeat and the lack of representation of nose-pierced brides: After months (okay, years) of flipping through bridal magazines to evaluate each bride's "look" and learn what is typically acceptable and unacceptable, I only recently came upon the realization that most brides we see are very conservative in their jewelry choices (again, Indian brides being the exception, bless their gorgeous, beaded-and-bright-colored hearts). The typical bride is expected to wear jewelry, but keep it tame...because heaven forbid you wear something other than your grandmother's silver cross necklace and tiny pearl earring studs???

Jewelry is SUCH an issue. Realizing this has caused me to actually stop and think about whether or not I ought to follow suit and be a conservatively-jeweled bride....if my taste for colorful jewelry and my desire to keep my nose ring in is detrimental....and it was the stopping to think about it that actually kind of angered me! Who am I, the girl voted "Most Original" in both Jr. High and High School, to question whether or not my nose ring is acceptable for our wedding?! The nose ring shall stay, period. I adore my nose ring; I feel comfortable and happy with it and it is "me."  Do I really care what the wedding "experts" think? Do I care what our friends and family are going to think when they see me with the gown, the veil, and *GASP!* the small diamond stud in my left nostril? Do I really think that keeping my nose ring in is going to ruin the pictures, or the ceremony, or the reception?

The answer is, obviously, NO.

Let them eat cake!

{cake!}

Well, yesterday was Easter with Adam's family...and after stuffing our faces with ham, potatoes, broccoli casserole, and "bunny-rolls," Adam and I got to do our official cake-testing! 

Adam's aunt, Cheryl, kindly offered to make our wedding cake. Seeing as cake-making has been a profession of hers for 27 years (her first creation being her own wedding cake!), and she is family, we couldn't turn down the offer. 

A few posts back I had expressed my desire for cupcakes---I loved the look of the cupcake tree, and enjoyed the cute'ness of just-right eating portions, but was told cupcakes were too much work. So Adam and I, despite being the not-too-into-cake people that we are, decided to just go the easy route and opt for a friggin' cake. Being all together at Aunty Cheryl's place yesterday made it the perfect time to talk about the numerous possibilities, our likes / dislikes, check out Cheryl's photo albums o' cakes she has made in the past,  and decide which flavor we'd most enjoy. 

Decided a three-tier cake is as big as we wanna go----the bottom layer being 12" in diameter, the second layer being 8" and the third layer being 6". Also made it quite clear that we're not big on frosting and do NOT want big glob'like roses, trim, etc. Looking to have a nice, clean-looking cake; simple. Less is more, after all. Maybe a little dot-frosting border, maybe an orange ribbon.....still searching for pictures o' inspiration. 

One thing that is for certain: we shall be stuffing delicious lemon'y goodness into our faces come our wedding night! I had immediately dismissed the basic vanilla, chocolate, or marble cake options because....well....those options are boring, and very birthday party'esque. So we tried the following:

*Carrot Cake--yummy; thick; moist; lots of texture. I liked it, but wasn't sure about having it as a wedding cake. Plus it had a lot of different ingredients in it, including carrots (duh), spices, and shards of coconut. "Less is more" is obviously one of my favorite mantras, and this cake didn't quite fit in.

* Spice Cake--very yummy; reminded me of autumn / Thanksgiving. I wouldn't have minded having this as our cake, but Adam liked the carrot cake better than this one, and the overall thing was that it was much more of a autumnal choice. If we were having a wedding in, say, October, then we perhaps would have gone with this one.

*Lemon Cake--delicious; light and summery; had the right amount of tangy and sweet. Plus it's yellow, so it matches. Ha! This is the winner!!!

I will remember you...

Sad fact about my wedding: my grandparents aren't going to be there.

My mother's parents are unable to make the lengthy journey---after all, they reside back in San Diego and 3,000 miles, even by plane, is an awfully long way for elderly folks to travel.

And my father's parents passed away years ago. :o(

It brings tears to my eyes when I think about how nice it would be to have my grandparents present on my wedding day... My grandmothers and grandfathers have taught me so much over the years and I am nothing but grateful to have so many pleasant memories of them.

Since neither set of grandparents will be able to physically be at our wedding, I've decided to do two things:

1) I will soon be ordering two bouquet memory frames so as to have my dad's parents close to me as I walk down the aisle. Each memory frame is $12.00 at www.myjeanm.com (Jean M invitations and accessories)

2) I will have my grandparents' wedding photos framed and on display. Not sure where...but somewhere. I've already retrieved the wedding photo of my mom's parents---still can't believe my grandmother was only just turning 21 when she married!!! Need to ask my dad to rummage around the house and search for his parent's wedding photo so I can make a photocopy.

Decorate 'dat aisle!

{shepherds hooks}

A cheap and easy way to bring some color to the aisle decor...withOUT implementing flowing waves of toole. giant bows, or overpriced flowers in giant urns. These garden hooks are everywhere, especially now that Spring has officially sprung (yay and thank gawd!). Of course, being the thrify-miss that I am, I wanted to find the best deal. The aisle in which we'll be walking is relatively short, but I figured I'd be buying upwards of 10 - 12 hooks to stick in the ground; fancy-shmancy garden places will sell these things at five bucks a pop, which makes me declare, "Laaaaaame." I forced myself to be patient and just keep my eyes open, waiting till I found the best deal.

While "FREE" would have been pretty awesome (and obviously the best deal), I got the next best thing: $1.00 each. Ch'yeah, a dollar. Each. Frickin' sweet.

"Where do you find shepherds hooks for a dollar?!" you ask.

Dollar Tree, of course!

They look *just* like the ones in this picture. They're black, ya stick 'em in the ground, and they have a hook at the end.... Boo-ya. I don't think we'll be hanging balls o' flowers from them, however.... I'm envisioning more of a farm'y aesthetic, like tin pails filled with daisies perhaps. Just a lil' something to spruce up the aisle in which we all shall walk, ya know? What's great is that these hooks can be used for so many other things after the wedding. I can loan them to others if they want 'em for their wedding; I can put them somewhere in our (non-existent) garden or near our pool; I can use them as marshmallow skewers when camping; I can stab trespassers. See, so many uses! And at only a dollar each! 

{Underwater} Save the Date

source: http://greenweddingshoes.blogspot.com/2010/03/underwater-engagement-photos-save-date.html

...I am in love with this.

{Finding} a photographer

Ash covered a lot in her last post about finding our photographer, but I just wanted to add a few bits of my own on this topic of interest.

As Ash mentioned, I LOVE photography. I bought my first SLR in 2001 and continued to shoot on my own through college where I studied under photographer Arno Rafael Minkkinen. Arno had a way of inspiring rather than strictly teaching, and I left the class with a much deeper appreciation for the medium.

Needless to say, I knew the task of hiring a photographer to document our wedding was going to be a challenge – not only because it's something that I deeply value, but because Ash and I are a bit limited in our budget. To those who are considering how to fit a photographer into their wedding budget, consider reading this article.

Tanya Lacourse: www.violetmarsh.com

I started by contacting people in my social circle to see if they had any suggestions. Two close friends had siblings who were photographers, so that was a great start, but there was no way I could make a decision knowing that a sampled the whole landscape of options. I liked both of their work, but I knew that I'd find myself questioning my decision unless I really compared them to other photographers out there.

It wasn't until I posted on an employee exchange forum at work, that the leads really started to come in. At this point I tapped into google-docs and started a spreadsheet to keep track of all the names, websites, prices, and other info like how good I thought their work was, what kind of coverage they provided, who referred me, and whether/how I contacted them. This was super helpful when I started contacting people for quotes etc so I could keep track of all the info, and make sure I didn't leave anyone hanging.

Krista Guenin: www.kristaphoto.com

I drafted a template email that I'd send to everyone whose work warranted interest, making sure to mention who referred me or how I found them. What I found helpful was to make a list of the top 3 must-have expectations I had in a photographer, and include them in the email:

1. Someone with experience and a strong eye for the aesthetic
2. Someone who will provide me with all full-res digital images
3. Someone who would work with a backup who would be able to shoot the groom & groomsmen before the ceremony.

I laid out the basics of our wedding: where, when, how many people and wedding party size, and asked if I could get an idea of the price.

Dorie Lynn: www.dorielynnphoto.com

There were some who responded with quotes way out of our price range, but I still strongly suggest to other people not to simply thank these people and move on. If you really LOVE a photographer's work, let them know. Give them a bottom line for your budget, and ask if there is any way they could customize their services to your needs. Remember, if your wedding isn't on a Saturday, you're sure to have more bargaining power. Lastly, consider bartering services. If you're a web designer and their website sucks – point them to your portfolio, if you're a skydiving instructor – offer a free jump... anything! If I could, I would barter for everything I buy because it usually turns out to be a good deal for both parties, and you don't get taxed!

Ash and I narrowed it down to two photographers, both of which we got along with very well when we met in person. This definitely made the decision a bit more difficult because it was hard to imagine letting one of them down.

Shyla Dalirifar: www.shylaphotography.com

In the end, we went with Shyla. Her work is exactly what we were looking for, and Ash and I really clicked with her personality. She's very young at heart and that really makes it easy for us to be ourselves around her and have fun. It would have been pretty difficult to hire someone who's work we loved, but who's personality we didn't.

So, to everyone who is coming to our wedding, make sure you strike a pose for Shyla.  I guarantee she'll make it look good.

Photographer: CHECK!

We finally booked a photographer! Hallelujah! :o)

Her name: Shyla Dalirifar (that's her to the right) —>
She is awesome, plain and simple; someone you definitely wish you had as a close friend because you know you would have hilarious and monumental adventures together. She has an amazing spirit matched with an upbeat personality and an effortless sense of style and grace. She is truly talented--she has shot countless weddings world-wide and has been featured in a handful of wedding blogs and magazines! Shyla has a friendly demeanor and contagious smile instantly put us at ease around her, and seems to have creativity just ooze'ing from her ears.

Upon meeting Shyla at Atomic Cafe in Beverly last week, Adam and I were instantly captured by her energy, and being that we were both already entranced by her photography, it was easy to decide that we wanted Shyla to shoot our wedding this summer. She'll also be bringing along a friend/intern to shoot as a back-up photographer, to which we are quite pleased. We can't wait to have her be there on our wedding day capturing all the special moments! What makes us feel all the more fortunate is that she says she is honored to be chosen as our photographer, for she loves us as individuals, as a couple, and really likes the aesthetic we are going for. Bonus!

So, how stoked are we?? Pretty darn stoked! To finally have booked a photographer – and one that we just adore to boot – feels like a weight has been lifted from our shoulders. Photography is one of those BIG things that magazines and newlyweds tell you to search for and book early. Well, I believe we started the search just a a few weeks after getting engaged and it's taken this long to narrow down our possibilities. We searched and compared and contrasted, and met and talked with some via phone and e-mail.  Weeks passed, and the more time that passed, the more fretful I was!  I was beginning to worry that we'd never find a photographer that we both loved and could afford, not to mention one who had our wedding day available.

Adam's an amateur photographer with a very critical eye, which came as both a blessing and a curse with this whole shopping-around-for-a-wedding-photographer thing, he had a spreadsheet with the info of nearly 30 different photographers and perused blogs and websites for hours at a time daily! I'm not a photographer per se, but I consider myself to be a creative individual with a decent eye for photography – I took photo one year in high school, know and enjoy the rule of thirds, and take a ton of pictures each week! – so I had an idea of how I wanted our wedding pictures to be. We both agreed that being picky with the photographer was acceptable, as was spending a little more money than originally anticipated since we're saving in so many other areas. Skimping on photography was simply not acceptable; we had heard too many horror stories. And we have just enough narcissism to want breath-taking and frame-worthy pictures. Settling on an "okay" or "pretty good" photographer would not fly.

It is awesome to have found someone who makes us both happy and anxious to have our photos taken. And words cannot express the ease that I feel in just knowing that we have that major part of the wedding planning taken care of. I have no qualms regarding our wedding day photos – Shyla will not disappoint – and feeling that certain about something is an amazing thing. *smile*

Check out Shyla's work on her professional website and blog:
www.shylaphotography.com
www.shylasblog.com